There’s a reason we call it Life Cycle or a Vicious Cirlce or that it came full circle. And, I would prefer to call it a circle, it refers to Life. Life is indeed a circle because it’s all connected the present to the past and the past to the future and all the other permutations and combinations that you can think of. It’s all inter-connected.
You cannot be the future you envisioned without having lived through to the past that you did. And, that future one day becomes your Present or it is about to become your present. Just then you realize that maybe you aren’t so free of your past as you had always thought.
Human being is a thinking animal, I guess, all animals think but we express what we think and we often discard what we think; we train ourselves what to think and what not to think and therein lies the game. The game of chess you know where you make the right move at the right time and let the other party make the move to counter yours. But, then that’s all that life becomes a game.
Life isn’t a game. It is far too complex and has way many dimensions to comprehend in a single lifetime and so many interpretations to so many different actions. Life is overwhelming. It is difficult to not get overwhelmed as succumbing to thinking that you made the wrong move.
When the music is right, the moves are in sync, they are harmonious if you would just numb out everything else and let the music fill you in. But, that’s an act of courage where all your moves are uncalculated, some of them maybe logical but it’s like laying all your cards out in the open for everyone to see. Many of us may never reach that stage and even if we do, we will only literally implement and feel elated at having achieved the ecstacy to having achieved that. The battle lies in figuratively reaching that stage where you are comfortable in getting out of your comfort zone. Comfortable would be the incorrect word choice, it should be if you somehow get okay at the end of having taken that step.
When you feel like an illogical idiot who puts all her cards in the open when the world at large is ready to dispense away with all or any of those at its will. It’s cruel really for those who have the courage of the human spirit. But, it’s never easy. Sometimes in the act of love, you have to lay it all out just as it is not how as you think it is or as it should have been, it has to be as it is and the ultimate compensation that you can get is acceptance. That despite your difficult past, your too good to be true present and your uncertain future, there is someone like you one-of-a-kind or perhaps someone with the courage to accept you as you are. In the act of accepting another with his/her flaws, we also accept ourselves. Most people are lost within themselves and need a direction, but wrongly they look for it outside. If only they accept that it comes from within and that which comes from the depths of your heart is bound to last, life will be much more bearable if not happy.
It’s okay to screw up, it’s okay to feel lost, it’s okay to feel confused if you are trying to find a way out. The salvation lies in continuing to become a better version of yourself. You can only truly live if you are honest enough to those who deserve that honesty sometimes even at the cost of losing a certain future. A future built on secrets has a weak foundation that may crumble any moment. The choice is yours to make. If it has to crumble eventually why not now at least that leaves us more time to find something better along the way. And, if it doesn’t crumble, you know that it will last come what may. Either way, you become a better version of who you are and that’s worth it.
The deeper you go, the darker it gets. If you cannot handle darkness of the flawed human spirit, you do not deserve the light the depths of the soul will ultimately lead you to. The choice is yours to make whether life comes full circle or lets you hang somewhere half the way. It is ultimately yours.